17
RELENTLESS FORGIVENESS
Matthew 18:21-22
Rev. Paul Wrightman 1/26/25
IN PREPARING A SERMON
BASED ON A SPECIFIC PASSAGE OF SCRIPTURE,
THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS
IS TO CHECK THE ACCURACY OF THE TRANSLATION.
I THINK THAT THE
NEW REVISED STANDARD VERSION,
THE TRANSLATION THAT WE USE IN OUR BULLETIN,
HAS MADE A THEOLOGICAL MISTAKE
IN TRANSLATING THE WORD "BROTHER"
IN THE ORIGINAL GREEK
AS "ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE CHURCH."
ALTHOUGH THE IMMEDIATE CONTEXT
OF TODAY'S SCRIPTURE TEXT
IS, INDEED, THE CHURCH,
WE HAVE NUMEROUS EXAMPLES IN THE GOSPELS
OF HOW JESUS TAKES A COMMON WORD,
A WORD LIKE "NEIGHBOR." OR "BROTHER,"
AND EXPANDS ITS MEANING.
FOR EXAMPLE,
IN THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN,
JESUS REJECTS THE NARROW
DEFINITION OF "NEIGHBOR"
AS "SOMEONE ETHNICALLY AND RELIGIOUSLY
LIKE MYSELF,"
AND EXPANDS ITS MEANING TO INCLUDE EVERYONE.
THE WHOLE POINT OF THE PARABLE
IS TO MAKE THE POINT
THAT WE ARE TO BE GOOD NEIGHBORS
TO ANYONE IN NEED.
SIMILARLY, I CAN'T SEE JESUS RESTRICTING
THE MEANING OF "BROTHER" IN MATTHEW 18:21
TO "ANOTHER MEMBER OF THE CHURCH,"
WHEN HE POINTEDLY TAUGHT
THAT ALL PERSONS ARE BROTHERS AND SISTERS
TO EACH OTHER.
IN VERSE 22, JESUS IS MAKING A PLAY
ON MULTIPLYING THE WORD "SEVEN,"
WHICH CAN BE TRANSLATED EITHER AS
"SEVENTY-SEVEN," OR "SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN."
GIVEN JESUS' PENCHANT FOR EXPANDING
RATHER THAN NARROWING MEANING,
I THINK THE PREFERABLE CHOICE IS
"SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN."
THUS, A MORE ACCURATE TRANSLATION
OF TODAY'S TEXT WOULD READ:
"THEN PETER CAME AND SAID TO HIM,
'LORD, IF MY BROTHER SINS AGAINST ME,
HOW OFTEN SHOULD I FORGIVE HIM?
AS MANY AS SEVEN TIMES?'
JESUS SAID TO HIM, 'I DO NOT SAY TO YOU
SEVEN TIMES, BUT SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN.'"
LET US NOW PUT OURSELVES IN PETER'S PLACE:
KNOWING THAT THE JEWISH TRADITION
OF THAT DAY
TAUGHT THAT ONE WAS OBGLIGATED TO FORGIVE
A FELLOW JEWISH PERSON UP TO THREE TIMES,
AND KNOWING THAT JESUS LIKED TO EXPAND
THE APPLICATION OF WORDS LIKE
FORGIVENESS AND COMPASSION,
WE OURSELVES GET THE BRILLIANT INSIGHT
THAT WE SHOULD EXPAND THE REQUIRED
THREE TIMES TO SEVEN TIMES.
IMPRESSED WITH THE GENEROSITY
OF OUR INSIGHT,
AND SEEKING COMMENDATION FROM JESUS,
WE COME RUNNING UP TO HIM AND BLURT OUT:
"LORD, HOW OFTEN SHOULD I FORGIVE SOMEONE?
UP TO SEVEN TIMES?",
FULLY EXPECTING JESUS TO COMMEND US
ON OUR BIG-HEARTEDNESS.
IMAGINE THE CHALLENGE AND BEWILDERMENT
WE FEEL AS JESUS IMMEDIATELY
TAKES OUR GENEROUS "SEVEN TIMES"
AND MULTIPLIES IT BY SEVENTY:
"NOT SEVEN TIMES, HE SAYS,
BUT SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN."
BY NOW WE'RE BEGINNING TO GET THE PICTURE:
JESUS DOES NOT MEAN A LITERAL
FOUR-HUNDRED-AND-NINETY,
BUT "SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN" STANDS FOR
UNLIMITED FORGIVENESS.
A NUMBER OF SCRIPTURE SCHOLARS MAINTAIN
THAT REALLY BIG REALITIES,
REALITIES SUCH AS "TO CREATE,"
AND "TO FORGIVE,"
ARE ACTUALLY LIMITED TO GOD,
AND THAT WE SHOULD COME UP WITH
LESSER WORDS WHEN APPLYING THESE REALITIES
TO OURSELVES.
THUS, ONLY GOD CAN CREATE, WE MAKE;
ONLY GOD CAN FORGIVE, WE LET GO OF.
THE KIND OF CREATION
TALKED ABOUT IN THE FIRST VERSE OF THE BIBLE,
"IN THE BEGINNING GOD CREATED THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH," (Genesis 1:1)
IS SOMETHING THAT ONLY GOD
IS CAPABLE OF DOING.
THE KIND OF FORGIVENESS
TALKED ABOUT IN PSALM 103:
"AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST,
SO FAR HE REMOVES OUR TRANSGRESSIONS
FROM US," (Psalm 103:12)
IS SOMETHING THAT ONLY GOD
CAN ACCOMPLISH.
A KEY QUESTION TO ASK --
A QUESTION THAT YOU HAVE PROBABLY
VOICED YOURSELF AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER -- IS:
DOES GOD FOLLOW GOD'S OWN RULES?
IN OTHER WORDS,
WHEN GOD ASKS US TO BEHAVE IN A CERTAIN WAY,
CAN WE TRUST THAT GOD WILL ACT
IN THE SAME WAY THAT GOD IS ASKING US TO?
IN THE CONTEXT OF TODAY'S SCRIPTURE READINGS
ON FORGIVENESS,
THIS RATHER GENERAL QUESTION --
DOES GOD FOLLOW GOD'S OWN RULES? --
BECOMES THE MUCH MORE SPECIFIC QUESTION:
IN ASKING US TO PRACTICE
UNLIMITED FORGIVENESS,
DOES THIS ALSO MEAN
THAT GOD ASKS THE SAME OF GODSELF
THAT GOD ASKS OF US?
DOES GOD PRACTICE WHAT GOD PREACHES?
IF JESUS REALLY IS THE HUMAN FACE OF GOD,
OUR TEXT FROM MATTHEW GIVES US
A RESOUNDING "YES!" TO THIS QUESTION.
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK
OF A MORE EXTREME SITUATION
THAN JESUS TAKING THE INITIATIVE TO FORGIVE
EVEN AS HE IS BEING TORTURED TO DEATH.
BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT JESUS DOES
IN THE VERY ACT OF BEING CRUCIFIED.
IN THE MIDST OF HIS OWN INCREDIBLE PAIN.
HE SPEAKS THE UNFORGETTABLE WORDS:
"FATHER, FORGIVE THEM,
FOR THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING."
TRUE, NONE OF THOSE INVOLVED IN JESUS' DEATH
KNEW THAT IN A VERY REAL SENSE THEY WERE
KILLING GOD.
BUT THEY DID KNOW THAT THEY
WERE PUTTING AN INNOCENT PERSON TO DEATH.
AND YET IN SPITE OF THEIR INVOLVEMENT
IN THIS GREATEST OF ALL CRIMES,
JESUS OFFERS THEM FORGIVENESS
IN THE NAME OF HIS FATHER.
NOTHING COULD DEMONSTRATE
MORE PROFOUNDLY THAT GOD DOES FOLLOW
GOD'S OWN RULES,
THAT GOD PRACTICES WHAT GOD PREACHES.
BECAUSE JESUS HIMSELF FORGIVES
FROM THE EXTREME SITUATION OF THE CROSS,
WE CAN BE SURE THAT WHEN JESUS
ASKS US TO PRACTICE UNLIMITED FORGIVENESS,
BOTH HE AND HIS FATHER
WILL ACT IN THE SAME WAY.
SIMPLY PUT, GOD'S FORGIVENESS
IS RELENTLESS AND UNCONDITIONAL,
OR, AS ST. CATHERINE OF SIENA PUTS IT:
"FORGIVENESS IS THE FOUNDATION
OF GOD'S BEING."
THE PRIMARY SET OF MEANINGS
OF THE GREEK WORD USUALLY TRANSLATED
AS "TO FORGIVE,"
COMES FROM THE WORLD OF BUSINESS,
AND MEANS TO LET GO OF, OR TO RELEASE, A DEBT.
I SUGGEST THAT "TO FORGIVE"
IS TOO GRAND A REALITY FOR US,
AND THAT WE ARE MUCH MORE IN SYNC WITH GOD
WHEN WE LET GOD DO THE FORGIVING,
AND WE DO OUR PART BY LETTING GO OF
THE INJURIES DONE TO US BY OTHERS.
IF YOU'RE LIKE ME,
TO LET GO OF IS SOMETHING
THAT I CAN ACTUALLY SEE MYSELF DOING,
WHEREAS TO FORGIVE SEEMS SO FORMIDABLE
THAT I IMMEDIATELY STALL AT THE PROSPECT.
LETTING GO IS ONE OF THE MAJOR DYNAMICS
THAT JESUS TALKS ABOUT IN THE GOSPELS.
EXPERIMENTS IN THE PSYCHOLOGY DEPARTMENTS
AT DUKE AND STANFORD HAVE SHOWN
THAT FORGIVENESS --
OR, BETTER, LETTING GO OF PAST INJURIES
SO THAT WE CAN FULLY LIVE IN THE PRESENT --
IS CRUCIAL TO OUR PHYSICAL WELL-BEING.
I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU
AN EXPERIENCE FROM THE LIFE OF
RACHEL NAOMI REMEN, M.D.,
AND THEN USE IT AS A METAPHOR
FOR UNDERSTANDING THE CRUCIAL ROLE
OF LETTING GO.
FIRST, DR. REMEN'S EXPERIENCE.
SHE WRITES:
"ALL THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD,
MY PARENTS KEPT A GIANT JIGSAW PUZZLE
SET UP ON A PUZZLE TABLE IN THE LIVING ROOM.
MY FATHER, WHO HAD STARTED ALL THIS,
ALWAYS HID THE BOX TOP.
THE IDEA WAS TO PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER
WITHOUT KNOWING THE PICTURE AHEAD OF TIME…
THE PUZZLE TABLE
WAS MY FATHER'S BIRTHDAY PRESENT
TO MY MOTHER.
I CAN SEE HIM SETTING IT UP
AND GLEEFULLY POURING THE PIECES
OF THAT FIRST PUZZLE
FROM THE BOX ONTO THE TABLETOP.
I WAS THREE OR FOUR
AND I DID NOT UNDERSTAND
MY MOTHER'S DELIGHT.
THEY HADN'T EXPLAINED THIS GAME TO ME,
DOUBTLESS THINKING I WAS TOO YOUNG
TO PARTICIPATE.
BUT I WANTED TO PARTICIPATE, EVEN THEN.
ALONE IN THE LIVING ROOM EARLY ONE MORNING,
I CLIMBED ON A CHAIR
AND SPREAD OUT THE HUNDREDS OF LOOSE PIECES
LYING ON THE TABLE.
THE PIECES WERE FAIRLY SMALL;
SOME WERE BRIGHTLY COLORED
AND SOME DARK AND SHADOWY.
THE DARK ONES SEEMED LIKE SPIDERS OR BUGS,
UGLY AND A LITTLE FRIGHTENING.
THEY MADE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
GATHERING UP A FEW OF THESE,
I CLIMBED DOWN AND HID THEM
UNDER ONE OF THE SOFA CUSHIONS.
FOR SEVERAL WEEKS,
WHENEVER I WAS ALONE IN THE LIVING ROOM,
I WOULD CLIMB UP ON THE CHAIR,
TAKE A FEW MORE DARK PIECES,
AND ADD THEM TO THE CACHE
UNDER THE CUSHION.
SO THIS FIRST PUZZLE
TOOK THE FAMILY A VERY LONG TIME TO FINISH.
FRUSTRATED, MY MOTHER
FINALLY COUNTED THE PIECES
AND REALIZED THAT MORE THAN A HUNDRED
WERE MISSING.
SHE ASKED ME IF I HAD SEEN THEM.
I TOLD HER THEN WHAT I HAD DONE
WITH THE PIECES I DIDN'T LIKE
AND SHE RESCUED THEM
AND COMPLETED THE PUZZLE.
I REMEMBER WATCHING HER DO THIS.
AS PIECE AFTER DARK PIECE WAS PUT IN PLACE
AND THE PICTURE EMERGED,
I WAS ASTOUNDED.
I HAD NOT KNOWN THERE WOULD BE A PICTURE.
IT WAS QUITE BEAUTIFUL,
A PEACEFUL SCENE OF A DESERTED BEACH.
WITHOUT THE PIECES I HAD HIDDEN,
THE GAME HAD MADE NO SENSE.
(Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., Kitchen Table Wisdom,
pp. 169-170.)
LET US NOW TAKE THIS EXPERIENCE
SO VIVIDLY DESCRIBED BY DR. REMEN
AND USE IT AS AN EXTENDED METAPHOR
ON THE TOPIC OF LETTING GO.
LET'S SAY THAT THE FINISHED PUZZLE PICTURE
REPRESENTS OUR LIFE.
LET'S ALSO ADMIT TO OUR TENDENCY
TO HANG ONTO THOSE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE
THAT WE DON'T LIKE.
SPECIFICALLY, LET'S SAY THAT
EACH OF THESE PIECES REPRESENTS
SOMETHING DONE TO US BY ANOTHER
THAT HURT US,
AND WHICH WE HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE
TO LET GO OF.
THE MORAL OF THE METAPHOR
IS THAT UNTIL WE OPEN OUR CLENCHED FISTS,
SO TO SPEAK,
AND LET GO OF THESE INDIVIDUAL PIECES,
ALLOWING THEM THE FREEDOM
TO BECOME PART OF SOMETHING
MUCH BIGGER THAN THEMSELVES,
THE PICTURE OF OUR LIFE
IS GOING TO REMAIN LARGELY INCOMPLETE
AND LARGELY INCOHERENT.
IN ADMONISHING US TO LET GO
NOT SEVEN TIMES, BUT SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN,
JESUS IS INSTRUCTING US
IN HOW TO BECOME HAPPY AND WHOLE
HUMAN BEINGS.
HE IS TELLING US THAT WHOLENESS
DOES NOT GROW OUT OF HANGING ONTO
OUR HURTS AND RESENTMENTS,
BUT BY LETTING GO OF THEM.
WE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO FORGIVE SOMEONE
LIKE GOD FORGIVES,
REMOVING THE TRANSGRESSION
AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST,
BUT WE JUST MIGHT BE ABLE TO LET GO OF
THE HURT AND PAIN THAT SOMEONE
HAS CAUSED US,
PUTTING INTO PRACTICE THE SLOGAN
FROM ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS:
"LET GO AND LET GOD."
BEFORE WE FINISH THIS SERMON
WE NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT
THAT THIS ADMONITION OF JESUS
TO FORGIVE OR TO LET GO UNCEASINGLY
HAS BEEN MISUSED BY MANY
EVANGELICAL MINISTERS
DURING PASTORAL COUNSELING SESSIONS.
THIS TEXT HAS TRAGICALLY
BEEN QUOTED TO THOSE IN
IMPOSSIBLY ABUSIVE SITUATIONS
AND GIVEN AS REASON TO CONTINUE
IN THOSE SITUATIONS.
THUS, COUNTLESS WOMEN HAVE BEEN COUNSELED
TO REMAIN IN HOPELESSLY ABUSIVE MARRIAGES
BECAUSE THEIR ROLE IS TO FORGIVE
AND TO FORGIVE…AND TO FORGIVE.
IF THE WHOLE POINT OF JESUS' TEACHING
IS TO LET GO OF HURT AND RESENTMENT,
THIS CAN ONLY MEAN
THAT IN THE CONTEXT OF RELATIONSHIPS
THAT ARE ABUSIVE AND VIOLENT,
THAT WE ARE CALLED TO LET GO OF
THE ABUSIVE AND VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP.
AND THEN, NOT TO HANG ONTO THE HURT
THAT HAS BEEN DONE TO US,
NOT TO ALLOW OURSELVES TO BECOME
DEFINED BY THE ABUSE AND THE VIOLENCE
THAT WE SUFFERED,
BUT TO ALLOW GOD TO REBUILD
OUR SENSE OF SELF.
FORGIVING, OR LETTING GO,
IS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT THINGS
THAT WE ARE CALLED TO DO IN LIFE.
I SUSPECT THAT MANY OF YOU
WOULD AGREE WITH ME
IN MAKING A VITAL CONNECTION
BETWEEN THE ABILITY TO FORGIVE, OR LET GO,
AND THE ABILITY TO GRIEVE,
TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE DEPTH OF OUR
HURT OR LOSS.
IF WE ARE TO BECOME WHOLE PERSONS,
IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT
THAT WE TAKE THE TIME AND ALLOW THE TEARS
THAT ARE NECESSARY FOR HEALING.
I WOULD LIKE END THIS SERMON
WITH SOME WISE WORDS ON GRIEVING
FROM DR. REMEN.
SHE WRITES:
"GRIEVING IS THE WAY THAT LOSS CAN HEAL…
UNLESS WE LEARN TO GRIEVE,
WE MAY NEED TO LIVE LIFE AT A DISTANCE
IN ORDER TO PROTECT OURSELVES FROM PAIN.
WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO RISK
HAVING ANYTHING THAT REALLY MATTERS TO US
OR ALLOW OURSELVES TO BE TOUCHED,
TO BE INTIMATE,
TO CARE OR BE CARED ABOUT.
UNTOUCHED, WE WILL SUFFER ANYWAY.
WE JUST WILL NOT BE TRANSFORMED
BY OUR SUFFERING.
GRIEVING MAY BE ONE OF THE
MOST FUNDAMENTAL OF LIFE SKILLS.
IT IS THE WAY THAT THE HEART
CAN HEAL FROM LOSS
AND GO ON TO LOVE AGAIN AND GROW WISE."
"IF IT WERE UP TO ME," DR. REMEN WRITES,
"IT WOULD BE TAUGHT IN KINDERGARTEN,
RIGHT UP THERE WITH TAKING TURNS
AND SHARING."
(Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., My Grandfather's Blessings,
p. 145.)
TODAY'S SCRIPTURE TEXT
IS ONE OF JESUS' KEY TEACHINGS
ON HOW TO BECOME HEALTHY AND WHOLE,
NOT JUST ON AN INDIVIDUAL LEVEL,
BUT ON A SOCIETAL LEVEL AS WELL.
EUGENE PETERSON IN THE MESSAGE,
THE BIBLE IN CONTEMPORARY LANGUAGE,
RENDERS IT THIS WAY:
"AT THAT POINT PETER GOT UP THE NERVE TO ASK,
'MASTER, HOW MANY TIMES
DO I FORGIVE A BROTHER OR SISTER
WHO HURTS ME? SEVEN?
JESUS REPLIED, "SEVEN? HARDLY.
TRY SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN."
SO WE LET GO AND LET GOD.
IN THE POWER OF GOD'S SPIRIT
WHO DWELLS IN EACH OF US,
WE LEARN TO LET GO,
WE LEARN TO GRIEVE,
AND WE GRADUALLY BECOME WHOLE.
AMEN.