WAITING FOR THE LIGHT
Rev. Paul Wrightman 12/24/21
I WOULD LIKE TO EXTEND OUR SCRIPTURE LESSONS
JUST A BIT FURTHER WITH A SHORT READING
FROM THE GOSPEL OF MATTHEW:
AFTER JESUS WAS BORN IN BETHLEHEM IN JUDEA,
DURING THE TIME OF KING HEROD,
MAGI FROM THE EAST CAME TO JERUSALEM AND ASKED,
“WHERE IS THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN BORN KING OF THE JEWS?”
WE SAW HIS STAR WHEN IT ROSE AND HAVE COME TO WORSHIP HIM.
(Matthew 2:1-2)
MATTHEW TELLS US THAT THE MAGI, OR WISE MEN,
SAW THE STAR “WHEN IT ROSE,”
AT THE BEGINNING OF THEIR JOURNEY.
HE DOES NOT MENTION IT AGAIN
UNTIL THEY SAW THE STAR ANOTHER TIME
AT THE END OF THEIR JOURNEY.
THE IMPLICATION IS THAT MUCH OF THEIR JOURNEY
WAS WITHOUT BENEFIT OF THE STAR.
THEY SAW THE STAR IN THE EAST,
SHINING WITH INCREDIBLE BRIGHTNESS OVER THEIR HOMELANDS,
AND THEY SAW IT AGAIN AS THEY LEFT THE PALACE OF HEROD.
BUT IN BETWEEN, ENCOMPASSING THE VAST DISTANCE
FROM WHERE THEIR JOURNEY BEGAN
TO THE FEW MILES THAT MARKED ITS CONCLUSION,
I BELIEVE THEY WERE WITHOUT ITS BENEFIT MUCH OF THE WAY.
ISN’T THERE A PARALLEL IN THIS WITH EACH OF OUR LIVES?
WE HAVE OUR MOMENTS OF SEEING AND KNOWING,
WHEN THE STAR OF CLARITY AND CERTAINTY GOES BEFORE US –
AND THEN NOTHING.
EVERYTHING SEEMS TO GO BLANK;
SOMEBODY THROWS A HAT DOWN ON OUR JIGSAW PUZZLE,
AND IT’S BACK TO UNCERTAINTY AND CONFUSION.
ONE OF MY MAJOR MEMORIES AS A CHILD
COMES FROM WHEN I WAS ABOUT SEVEN YEARS OLD
AND ALLOWED TO GO BY MYSELF
TO MY FIRST, AND BASICALLY LAST, HORROR FILM,
A MOVIE CALLED IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA.
IT WAS ABOUT A GIANT OCTOPUS
THAT WRAPPED ITS HUGE TENTACLES
AROUND SHIPS AND DREW THEM UNDER,
DEMOLISHED THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE,
AND FLATTENED PEOPLE ON THE STREETS OF SAN FRANCISCO.
AFTER THE FILM I HAD TO WALK HOME BY MYSELF.
IT WAS ONE OF THE DARKEST,
MOST TERRIFYING NIGHTS I HAVE EVER KNOWN.
THE ONLY COMFORT ON THE WAY
WAS THE PRESENCE OF STREETLIGHTS.
I FELT SAFE IN THE LIGHT.
WHEN I GOT UNDER A STREETLIGHT,
I STROLLED AS IF I HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD.
WHEN THE LIGHT WAS OVERTAKEN BY THE DARKNESS,
I DASHED OFF LIKE A CHAMPIONSHIP SPRINTER
TO THE NEXT LIGHT.
AND I HAVE SOMETIMES THOUGHT
THAT ALL OF LIFE IS LIKE THAT,
MAKING OUR WAY FROM ONE LIGHT TO THE NEXT,
WITH DARKNESS MUCH OF THE REST OF THE WAY.
THAT IS WHAT THE WISE MEN DID.
THEY TRAVELED FROM ONE SIGHTING OF THE STAR TO THE ENXT.
THEY DIDN’T SEE IT CONTINUOUSLY.
THEY HAD TO TRAVEL LONG DISTANCES WITHOUT IT.
WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THESE WISE MEN
AND THEIR ON-AGAIN, OFF-AGAIN STAR?
FIRST, WE LEARN THAT LIFE IS A JOURNEY.
LIFE ISN’T ROOTEDEDNESS, AND IT ISN’T SETTLEDNESS.
IT IS A JOURNEY, MOVEMENT,
GOING FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER.
THE MINUTE THAT WE THINK WE’VE GOT IT ALL SETTLED,
TIED UP, OR NAILED DOWN,
IT SPRINGS LOOSE ON US AND BEGINS TO UNRAVEL.
PERHAPS THIS IS WHY SO MANY OF THE GREATEST WRITERS
HAVE DEPICTED LIFE AS A PILGRIMAGE,
A MOVEMENT FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER.
FROM HOMER TO DANTE AND CHAUCER,
FROM CERVANTES TO MICHNER,
IT IS THE SAME IN EVERY AGE:
LIFE IS A JOURNEY,
A MOVEMENT OF MIND AND HEART AND BODY.
EVENTUALLY, IF WE FOLLOW OUR INNATE WISDOM –
THE PRESENCE OF GOD’S SPIRIT IN US –
WE SEE THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT STANCE IN LIFE,
THE MOST IMPORTANT WAY TO BE, IS OPENNESS.
IT IS REALIZING THAT LIFE IS A GIFT,
AND THAT THOSE PERSONS RECEIVE MOST
WHO ARE MOST OPEN TO RECEIVE.
THIS IS THE WAY IT WAS WITH THE WISE MEN.
THEY FOLLOWED THE STAR THAT APPEARED IN THEIR SKY.
THEY WERE OPEN AND READY TO BE LED.
THEY KNEW THAT LIFE IS AN ADVENTURE,
AND THOSE SEE MOST WHO ARE MOST READY TO FOLLOW.
THE SECOND THING THAT WE LEARN FROM THE WISE MEN
IS THAT FAITH – FAITH AS TRUST –
IS OUR FALLBACK POSITION IN TIMES OF DARKNESS.
FAITH IS FOR THE TIMES ON THE JOURNEY
WHEN WE CAN’T SEE THE STAR.
CONTRARY TO THE PICTURES ON OUR CHRISTMAS CARDS,
THE WISE MEN TRAVELED LONG DISTANCES ON THEIR JOURNEY
IN THE DARK, WITHOUT BENEFIT OF THE GLORIOUS STAR.
THE STAR GOT THEM STARTED ON THEIR JOURNEY,
AND IT RETURNED WHEN THEIR JOURNEY WAS AT ITS CLIMAX,
BUT IN-BETWEEN, OVER THE MILES AND MILES
OF BARREN AND EVEN HOSTILE COUNTRYSIDE,
ALTHOUGH THEY MAY HAVE GOTTEN
OCCASIONAL GLIMPSES OF THE STAR,
FOR THE MOST PART IT APPEARED, ONLY TO LEAVE THEM.
IT WAS THERE ALL THE TIME, OF COURSE,
BUT THEY COULD NOT SEE IT.
THEY HAD TO JOURNEY ONWARD
IN THE DIRECTION IT HAD GIVEN THEM,
BUT WITHOUT ITS IMMEDIATE AID.
THIS TOO IS TRUE OF OUR LIVES, ISN’T IT?
WE SPEND A LOT OF OUR JOURNEYS IN THE DARK.
WE SEE THE STAR SHINING OVER A CERTAIN COLLEGE,
AND WE GO THERE, NOT KNOWING WHAT LIES AHEAD OF US.
WE SEE THE STAR SHINING OVER A CERTAIN PERSON,
AND WE MARRY THEM, TRUSTING OUR FUTURE WITH THEM.
WE SEE IT SHINING AGAIN OVER A CAREER OR A PROFESSION,
AND WE GO IN THAT DIRECTION,
NOT KNOWING ANY MORE THAN THAT.
AGAIN AND AGAIN IN LIFE,
WE HAVE A MOMENT OF GREAT LUMINOSITY,
WHEN EVERYTHING BECOMES CLEAR,
AND WE FEEL AFFIRMED IN OUR CHOICES.
BUT THEN THE LIGHT GIVES WAY TO GREAT STRETCHES OF DARKNESS,
WHEN WE MUST WALK ALONE,
WITH ONLY THE MEMORY OF THE LIGHT TO GUIDE US.
WHEN THE NIGHT TURNS BLACK,
WE MUST LEARN TO WALK BY FAITH,
TRUSTING THAT THE STAR STILL SHINES IN SPITE OF
OUR NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE IT.
I SHALL NEVER FORGET A VISIT I HAD ONCE
IN THE HOSPITAL WITH A GOOD FRIEND WHO WAS A NUN.
SHE WAS ELDERLY AND HAD PNEUMONIA,
BUT THAT WAS NOT THE WORST THING.
THE WORST THING, SHE SAID,
WAS THAT IN HER ILLNESS
SHE FOUND HERSELF UNABLE TO PRAY.
“BUT THAT IS ALL RIGHT,” SHE SAID.
“I HAVE PRAYED BEFORE, AND I SHALL PRAY AGAIN.
RIGHT NOW, I MUST LEARN TO WAIT.”
AND SO WE ALL LEARN TO WAIT WHEN THE STAR IS NOT SHINING.
WE HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE; WE SHALL SEE IT AGAIN.
BUT IN THE INTERIM, THERE IS NOTHING TO DO
BUT TO KEEP ON KEEPING ON OUR JOURNEY
WHETHER THE STAR IS VISIBLE OR NOT.
A FRIEND OF MINE DESCRIBED THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER
AFTER A LONG AND DEBILITATING ILLNESS.
HE HAD BEEN THROUGH NUMEROUS SURGERIES
AND IN THE FINAL WEEKS MOST OF HIS BODY HAD WASTED AWAY.
AT THE END HE ENTERED A SEMI-COMA,
EMERGING ONLY OCCASIONALLY
TO GREET A RELATIVE OR FRIEND WAITING FOR HIM IN THE ROOM.
AND HE WAS THERE, MY FRIEND WAS THERE,
WHEN ON ONE OF THESE OCCASIONS THE FATHER CAME AROUND,
REACHED FOR HIS HAND, AND ANNOUNCED,
“I SEE MY SAVIOR. HE HAS BEEN THERE ALL THE TIME.”
HE HAS BEEN THERE ALL THE TIME.
MY OWN FAVORITE TITLE FOR JESUS IS EMMANUEL,
WHICH IS HEBREW FOR “GOD-WITH-US.”
I RESONATE WITH THIS TITLE BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT,
WHETHER OR NOT I CAN FEEL HIS PRESENCE,
WHETHER OR NOT I HAVE HAD SOME DRAMATIC
EXPERIENCE OF GOD,
WHETHER OR NOT I KNOW ALL THE RIGHT THINGS ABOUT GOD,
GOD HAS BEEN THERE ALL THE TIME --
LIKE THE STAR WHICH THE WISE MEN SAW ONLY SPORADICALLY,
BUT WHICH THEY KNEW WAS ALWAYS THERE,
AND WHICH TURNED THEIR JOURNEY INTO AN ADVENTURE.
KNOWING THAT GOD IN THE PERSON OF JESUS IS ALWAYS THERE –
ALWAYS KIND,
ALWAYS COMPASSIONATE,
ALWAYS FORGIVING,
ALWAYS LOVING,
ALWAYS EMMANUEL, GOD-WITH-US,
MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
KNOWING GOD IS THERE,
WE CAN ENDURE OUR SEASONS OF DARKNESS
AND OUR TIMES OF PAIN.
KNOWING GOD IS THERE,
WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH ANY HARDSHIP.
IN A BOOK OF CHRISTMAS MIRACLES, MICHAEL GINGERICH WRITES:
“EVERY YEAR, AS SOON AS HALLOWEEN IS OVER,
OUR SON MATTHEW WAITS FOR THE LIGHTS.
HE’S BEEN DOING IT FOR MORE THAN A DOZEN YEARS.
AS THE DAYS GROW SHORTER AND THE NIGHTS LONGER,
AS THE TEMPERATURES DROP AND THE LEAVES FALL,
HE WAITS FOR THE LIGHTS.
HE KNOWS THAT THEY WILL COME.
THE NEIGHBORS ACROSS THE STREET ALWAYS PUT UP A BEAUTIFUL,
BRILLIANT, AND TASTEFUL LIGHT DISPLAY FOR THE HOLIDAYS
AND MATTHEW LOVES TO WAIT FOR THEM TO BE TURNED ON,
WHICH USUALLY HAPPENS RIGHT AFTER THANKSGIVING.
BUT HE BEGINS HIS VIGIL A MONTH BEFORE THEIR ARRIVAL.
AND THEN, EACH DAY BETWEEN THANKSGIVING
AND UNTIL THE LIGHTS ARE TURNED OFF AFTER THE NEW YEAR,
HE WAITS, EXCITEDLY, FROM MID-AFTERNOON ON.
EACH DAY HE’LL STAND BY THE FRONT WINDOWS
OR WALK BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE WINDOWS
AND THE FRONT DOOR,
IN ENERGETIC AND COILED ANTICIPATION, LASER-FOCUSED,
UNDETERRED, INTENT ON THE MOMENT
OF THEIR NIGHTLY ILLUMINATION.
AND WHEN EACH EVENING’S MOMENT COMES,
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE RIGHT WITH HIM
WHEN THAT MOMENT OCCURS.
YOU KNOW IT NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE HOUSE.
THE EFFERVESCENT SQUEALING.
THE RHYTHMIC CLAPPING.
THE DANCING AROUND THE HOUSE,
THE STEPS STACCATO, LOUD, REPEATED.
IT’S PURE JOY, PURE DELIGHT ON HIS FACE!
AND IT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.
HE WAITS FOR THE LIGHTS.
DURING THE DARKEST DAYS OF THE YEAR.
HE STANDS AND HE WAITS.
TRANSFIXED BY THOSE LIGHTS BRIGHTENING THE DIM, WINTER SKY.
FOR ALL HIS LIMITATIONS, IN THE WORLD’S VIEW –
HIS SEVERE MENTAL DISABILITIES, HIS AUTISM,
HIS TWO-YEAR-OLD MIND IN A TWENTY-THREE-YEAR-OLD BODY,
HIS INABILITY TO SPEAK –
MATTHEW KNOWS SOMETHING VERY PROFOUND,
THAT LIGHT WILL SHINE IN THE DARKNESS,
THAT NO MATTER HOW DARK,
HOW LONG THE WAIT,
EVENTUALLY, AND WITHOUT FAIL,
THOSE LIGHTS WILL SHINE AGAIN.
NO MATTER HOW MANY SEASONS OF THE YEAR WITHOUT THEM,
THERE WILL COME A SEASON
WHEN THOSE LIGHTS WILL SHINE AGAIN.
LIFE BRINGS ITS OWN SEASONS OF DARKNESS.
DESPERATE, AT TIMES.
LONELY.
PAINFUL.
FULL OF FEAR.
BUT DESPITE THOSE SEASONS,
A NEW SEASON CAN COME AND THE LIGHT CAN BE SEEN AGAIN.
WHATEVER DARKNESS I FIND WITHIN AND AROUND ME,
I LOOK TO MY SON,
AND REMEMBER THAT LIGHT CAN PIERCE THE DARKNESS
AND CAN BEGIN TO BRING BEAUTY AND JOY AGAIN.
IN THAT I FIND MY HOPE AND MY HAPPINESS.” AMEN.