THE FIFTH OF THE BIG TEN: HONORING OTHERS
Exodus 20:12
Rev. Paul Wrightman 9/17/23
WE CONTINUE OUR SERMON SERIES ON THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
WE ARE CONSIDERING THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
FROM THE JEWISH PERSPECTIVE
AS TEN LIFE-GIVING WORDS, OR TEACHINGS, FROM GOD.
THE JEWISH TRADITION SEES
GOD AS ENTRUSTING THESE TEN LIFE-GIVING WORDS TO US
IN THE HOPE THAT THEY WOULD SERVE AS PATTERNS,
OR, IF YOU WILL, AS BLUEPRINTS,
FOR THE CREATION OF A RADICALLY DIFFERENT
KIND OF COMMUNITY,
A COMMUNITY WHICH WAS AND IS CALLED
TO GROW INTO AND, FINALLY TO EMBODY,
NOTHING LESS THAN THE VERY HEART OF GOD.
TODAY WE LOOK AT GOD’S FIFTH WORD,
“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER,”
WHICH AT ITS DEEPEST LEVEL CALLS US
TO PARTICIPATE IN A LIFE-GIVING FAMILY AND COMMUNITY
WHICH IS CLOSE TO THE CENTER OF GOD’S DESIRE
FOR THE WELL-BEING OF EACH OF US.
THE ORIGINAL INTENT OF THIS COMMANDMENT
WAS FOR ADULT CHILDREN TO ALWAYS REMEMBER
TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEIR AGING PARENTS.
IF THIS COMMANDMENT WERE FOLLOWED,
PUT INTO PRACTICE FROM ONE GENERATION TO THE NEXT,
NOT ONLY WOULD THE ELDERLY BE HONORED AND CARED FOR,
THE CHILDREN OF THOSE ELDERLY,
AND THEIR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN,
WOULD ALSO BE HONORED AND CARED FOR
IN UNBROKEN SUCCESSION AS THE GENERATIONS UNFOLDED.
IF ADULT CHILDREN FAIL TO HONOR THEIR ELDERLY PARENTS,
IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, THEY WILL NOT BE HONORED BY THEIR CHILDREN
WHEN THEY TOO BECOME ELDERLY.
THUS, THIS FIFTH WORD FROM GOD,
“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER,”
IS INTENDED TO KEEP THE VICIOUS CIRCLE
OF ELDER NEGLECT AND ELDER ABUSE
FROM EVER GAINING A FOOTHOLD IN HUMAN LIFE.
MORE POSITIVELY, THIS FIFTH LIFE-GIVING WORD FROM GOD
HAS AT ITS HEART THE VISION OF DIFFERENT GENERATIONS
LIVING OUT LOVE, HONOR, AND RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER.
OVER THE PAST SEVERAL WEEKS,
WE HAVE SEEN HOW EACH COMMANDMENT
THAT WE HAVE STUDIED,
IN ADDITION TO HAVING A SPECIFIC MEANING
FOR THE ORIGINAL PEOPLE FOR WHOM IT WAS GIVEN,
ALSO HINTED AT A MORE UNIVERSAL MEANING,
A MEANING WHICH, IN MANY CASES,
TOOK CENTURIES, IF NOT MILLENIA, TO GROW INTO,
A MEANING WHICH, IN MANY CASES,
WE ARE STILL GROWING INTO.
IN TERMS OF THE MORE UNIVERSAL DIMENSIONS
HIDDEN IN TODAY’S COMMANDMENT,
“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOU MOTHER,”
IT IS SIGNIFICANT THAT,
WHEN COMPARED WITH OTHER LAW CODES OF THE TIME,
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS ARE THE ONLY CODE
WHICH INCLUDES MOTHERS AS WELL AS FATHERS
IN ITS ADMONITION TO HONOR PARENTS.
I THINK THIS INCLUSION OF MOTHERS
IS VERY IMPORTANT FROM THE POINT OF VIEW
OF THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT GOD WANTS TO ENCOURAGE.
JUST AS THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT,
THE ONE AGAINST ADULTERY,
WAS INTENDED NOT JUST TO PROTECT
THE MAN’S PROPERTY-RIGHTS,
BUT ON A MORE UNIVERSAL LEVEL,
TO SAFEGUARD AND HONOR THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP,
AND ON AN EVEN MORE UNIVERSAL LEVEL,
TO MIRROR THE FAITHFULNESS OF GOD,
THE SAME DYNAMIC IS PRESENT IN THE FIFTH COMMMANDMENT,
“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.”
BY INCLUDING MOTHER AS WELL AS FATHER,
THIS FIFTH LIFE-GIVING WORD,
POINTS WELL BEYOND THE UNDERSTANDING OF
CHILDREN-AS-THE-PROPERTY-OF-THEIR-FATHERS
OF THE TIME,
AND CREATES THE SPACE FOR GROWING INTO
AN UNDERSTANDING OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY
WHERE MARRIAGE IS MUTUAL
AND WHERE CHILDREN, TOO, ARE HONORED.
THIS FIFTH COMMANDMENT THUS CONTAINS, AS IT WERE,
THE SEED WHICH EVENTUALLY GROWS INTO
A MUCH FULLER APPRECIATION OF FAMILY,
THE HONORED PLACE OF CHILDREN WITHIN THE FAMILY,
AND OF HOW FAMILY AS WELL AS MARRIAGE
IS INTENDED, IN ITS DEEPEST DIMENSION
TO REFLECT THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND FAITHFULNESS OF GOD.
THIS REMINDS ME OF A BRIEF TEACHING VIDEO
FROM PASTOR AND THEOLOGIAN ROB BELL,
WHOSE BOOK LOVE WINS RECEIVED NOTOREITY
SEVERAL YEARS AGO.
THE VIDEO TELLS THE STORY OF HOW ROB’S YOUNG SON,
SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS OLD AT THE TIME,
STOLE A TENNIS BALL FROM A NEIGHBOR-KID.
HIS MOM FINDS THE BALL, ASKS HIM ABOUT IT, AND HE LIES.
THE LIE IS FOUND-OUT,
AND THE CHILD IS SENT UPSTAIRS TO HIS ROOM AS PUNISHMENT.
INSTEAD OF GOING TO HIS ROOM,
THE CHILD GOES TO HIS PARENTS’ ROOM,
AND THERE HIDES UNDERS THE COVERS IN HIS PARENTS’ BED
FOR SEVERAL HOURS.
THE VIDEO PORTRAYS ROB COMING HOME FROM WORK,
SEEKING OUT HIS WAYWARD SON,
EXPRESSING SURPRISE AND CONCERN
AT NOT FINDING HIM IN HIS OWN ROOM,
AND SHOWING GREAT RELIEF AT SIGHTING THE SIZABLE MOUND
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BED IN THE MASTER BEDROOM.
ROB SLOWLY LIFTS THE COVERS, GENTLY REPEATING THE WORDS,
“THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO
THAT COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS;”
“THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO
THAT COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS.”
AT WHICH POINT FATHER AND SON
EXPERIENCE A TEARFUL RECONCILIATION.
THE VIDEO IS MEANT TO SERVE AS A PARABLE
OF THE WAY THAT GOD LOVES EACH OF US:
“THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO
THAT COULD MAKE ME LOVE YOU LESS.”
I’M A BIT PROVOKED AT ROB’S CASTING HIMSELF
IN THE HERO’S ROLE,
AND IMPLICITLY IN THE ROLE OF GOD THE FATHER.
THE PARABLE WOULD HAVE BEEN LESS STEREOTYPICAL
AND EVEN MORE POWERFUL, I THINK,
IF ROB’S WIFE AND MOTHER OF THEIR CHILD,
HAD BEEN CAST IN THE HERO’S ROLE
AND IMPLICITLY IN THE ROLE OF GOD.
THE LESSON AND THE ROLE, HOWEVER, IS A CRITICAL ONE
FOR ALL PARENTS TO GROW INTO:
THE ABILITY NOT ONLY TO FEEL
BUT ALSO TO EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE TOWARD THEIR CHILD OR CHILDREN.
AND WE HAVE GOOD REASON TO TRACE THE ROOTS
OF THIS ATTITUDE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
FROM PARENT TO CHILD,
AS WELL AS FROM CHILD TO PARENT,
TO OUR FIFTH LIFE-GIVING WORD FROM GOD,
A WORD REVEALED FROM GOD TO MOSES
AT MT. SINAI SOME THIRTY-THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO:
“HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER.”
IN TODAY’S CULTURE, WHERE SO MUCH MORE
IS OPENLY TALKED ABOUT THAN IN THE PAST,
WHICH I THINK IS BASICALLY A GOOD THING,
ONE CAN BARELY FINISH QUOTING THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT
WHEN SOMEONE WILL ASK
“BUT WHAT ABOUT AN ABUSIVE PARENT OF PARENTS?”
WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT THE COMMANDMENTS,
BY THEIR VERY NATURE, WERE VISIONARY:
THEY PORTRAYED VALUES CLOSE TO GOD’S OWN HEART,
VALUES WHICH, IF LIVED OUT, WOULD BRING ABOUT
WHOLE AND HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
IN A WHOLE AND HEALTHY CULTURE.
THEY WERE NEVER INTENDED TO PROVIDE GUIDANCE
FOR ALL CONCEIVABLE CIRCUMSTANCES
OR TO GIVE ANSWERS TO ALL CONCEIVABLE QUESTIONS.
TO THE QUESTION
“HOW DOES ONE HONOR AN ABUSIVE PARENT OR PARENTS?”
A RESPONSE THAT WOULD HONOR GOD’S DEEPEST INTENTION
FOR HEALTHY FAMILIES AND A HEALTHY SOCIETY WOULD BE,
I SUGGUEST:
IF ONE IS A GRANDPARENT AND ABUSE COMES TO YOUR ATTENTION,
REPORT THE PARENT OR PARENTS TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES,
WHICH WOULD BE THE POLICE OR PROTECTIVE CHILDREN’S SERVICES,
DEPENDING ON THE NATURE OF THE ABUSE.
IF ONE IS AN ADULT CHILD OF AN ABUSIVE PARENT OR PARENTS,
A DIFFICULT, BUT HONORING, RESPONSE
WOULD BE TO REMOVE ONESELF FROM THE SITUATION,
COMMUNICATING THE MESSAGE,
“I WILL NO LONGER ALLOW YOU TO HARM ME,
AND I WILL NO LONGER ALLOW YOU TO DISHONOR YOURSELF
BY HARMING ME.”
I WOULD LIKE TO LOOK AT ONE MORE HIDDEN, BUT IMPLICIT,
DIMENSION OF THE COMMANDMENT TO HONOR ONE’S PARENTS.
CONCERNING THIS WEEK’S COMMANDMENT
WE SEE JESUS HONORING THIS COMMANDMENT
BY PLACING HIS MOTHER, MARY,
IN THE CARE OF JOHN, ONE OF HIS CLOSEST DISCIPLES.
(See John 19:26-27)
BUT JESUS ALSO DOES SOMETHING FAR MORE RADICAL
WITH THIS COMMANDMENT:
HE EXTENDS THE MEANING OF FATHER AND MOTHER,
OF SISTER AND BROTHER,
TO INCLUDE THE COMMUNITY OF HIS DISCIPLES.
THUS, THE LOVE, CARE, AND SUPPORT
WHICH, IDEALLY, THE FAMILY PROVIDES
AND WHICH MIRRORS THE LOVE, CARE, AND SUPPORT OF GOD,
IS EXPANDED BY JESUS TO INCLUDE THE CIRCLE
OF ALL THOSE CONNECTED TO HIM.
THE COMMUNITY OF DISCIPLES IS CALLED
TO MIRROR THE LOVE, CARE, AND SUPPORT OF GOD
IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS WITH ONE ANOTHER
AND IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
WITH PERSONS OUTSIDE THIS COMMUNITY.
ONE OF THE MOST FASCINATING BITS OF SCHOLARSHIP
THAT I HAVE STUMBLED UPON RECENTLY
IS A GROWING CONSENSUS
THAT WITHIN JESUS’ OWN LIFETIME
THERE WERE SMALL COMMUNITIES OF DISCIPLES
WHO LOOKED OUT FOR ONE ANOTHER
IN TERMS OF FOOD, COMPANIONSHIOP, AND SHELTER.
FINALLY I’VE FOUND A POSITIVE ANSWER
TO ONE OF MY ONGOING QUESTIONS:
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POOR WIDOW
WHO, WE ARE TOLD, GAVE THE VERY LAST OF HER MONEY
AS AN ACT OF PRAISE AND WORSHIP TO GOD?
(See Mark 12:41-44)
JESUS MAKES A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT,
AND PRAISES HER EXAMPLE TO HIGH HEAVEN,
BUT I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.
NOW THAT SHE WAS TOTALLY WITHOUT MEANS OF SUPPORT,
DID SHE JUST GO OFF AND DIE?
THE ANSWER IS THAT SHE WAS TAKEN IN
BY ONE OF THE SMALL DISCIPLESHIP COMMUNITIES
THAT WERE ALREADY IN EXISTENCE IN JESUS’ LIFETIME.
AFTER JESUS’ DEATH AND RESURRECTION,
THESE SMALL DISCIPLESHIP COMMUNITIES
BECAME THE BASIS, THE FOUNDATION,
OF WHAT EVENTUALLY COMES TO BE CALLED THE “CHURCH.”
IN ITS EARLY YEARS, THIS DYNAMIC DISCIPLESHIP COMMMUNITY,
THE “CHURCH,” LITERALLY TURNS THE ANCIENT WORLD
UPSIDE DOWN AND INSIDE OUT,
NOT ONLY BY PREACHING THE GOSPEL OF
JESUS CRUCIFIED AND RISEN,
BUT ALSO BY DOING THINGS THAT HARDLY ANYONE ELSE WAS DOING
IN THE ANCIENT WORLD:
FEEDING AND CLOTHING WIDOWS, TAKING CARE OF ORPHANS,
FOUNDING HOSPITALS,
AND GIVING FOOD AND SHELTER TO STRANGERS.
THE EARLY CHURCH, IN OTHER WORDS,
WAS SIMPLY LIVING OUT JESUS’ TEACHING
ON EXTENDED FAMILY,
TEACHING THAT IN THE PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN,
JESUS EXPANDS TO INCLUDE ANYONE IN NEED,
EVEN AN “ENEMY.”
THE SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE THAT FLOWS MOST DIRECTLY
FROM GOD’S FIFTH LIFE-GIVING WORD
TO “HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER”
IS THAT OF COMMUNITY.
A VERY PRACTICAL AND VERY CHALLENGING WAY
TO GROW INTO THIS SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE OF COMMUNITY
IS TO PRACTICE LIVING OUT THE “ONE ANOTHER" STATEMENTS
THAT ARE TO BE FOUND THROUGHOUT THE LETTERS
OF PEOPLE LIKE JAMES, PAUL, PETER, AND JOHN
THAT WE FIND TOWARD THE END OF THE NEW TESTAMENT.
THIS IS NOT SURPRISING, SINCE THESE LETTERS
DESCRIBE WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE IN THE EARLIEST CHURCH.
IF WE, THE COMMUNITY OF COMMUNITY CHURCH,
WANT TO GET BACK TO WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE
IN THE EARLIEST CHURCH,
LEARNING TO LIVE THESE "ONE ANOTHER" STATEMENTS
IS THE MOST DIRECT POSSIBLE ROUTE
OF GOING BACK TO MOVE FORWARD.
WHAT ARE THESE “ONE ANOTHERS?”
FOR NOW, LET ME SIMPLY LIST THEM.
MY SUGGESTION WOULD BE TO CHOOSE ONE TO GROW INTO,
AND WHEN YOU HAVE MADE SOME PROGRESS
IN GROWING INTO ONE, TO MOVE ON TO ANOTHER.
HERE GOES:
LOVE ONE ANOTHER,
ENCOURAGE ONE ANOTHER,
BEAR ONE ANOTHER’S BURDENS,
CARE FOR ONE ANOTHER,
ACCEPT ONE ANOTHER,
BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER,
LIVE IN HARMONY WITH ONE ANOTHER,
FORGIVE ONE ANOTHER,
BE HOSPITABLE TO ONE ANOTHER,
HONOR ONE ANOTHER,
BELONG TO ONE ANOTHER,
BE DEVOTED TO ONE ANOTHER,
SPEAK TRUTHFULLY TO ONE ANOTHER,
TEACH ONE ANOTHER,
AGREE WITH ONE ANOTHER,
LOOK OUT FOR ONE ANOTHER,
WORSHIP WITH ONE ANOTHER,
DO NOT PROVOKE ONE ANOTHER,
DO NOT GRUMBLE AGAINST ONE ANOTHER,
DO NOT ENVY ONE ANOTHER,
AND, FINALLY, LAY DOWN YOUR LIVES FOR ONE ANOTHER,
WHICH DOES NOT JUST MEAN ONE DRAMATIC ACT OF SELF-GIVING,
BUT REFERS MUCH MORE TO THOSE EVERYDAY ACTS
OF DYING TO SELF
THAT ARE AT THE HEART OF WHAT IT MEANS
TO BE A REAL COMMUNITY,
TO BE A COMMUNITY THAT REFLECTS IN ITS OWN LIFE
THE VERY HEART OF GOD.
MAY GOD BLESS OUR EFFORTS TO BECOME MORE GODLIKE;
KNOWING THAT IN BECOMING MORE LIKE GOD
WE BECOME MORE LIKE OUR TRUEST, DEEPEST SELVES
AND IN DOING THAT
WE HELP OUR NEIGHBOR TO DO THE SAME.
AMEN.